


Together on road again

by Zuzajs14



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Friendship/Love, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Love/Hate, Misunderstandings, Season/Series 07, Season/Series 08, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-23 20:31:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11997417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zuzajs14/pseuds/Zuzajs14
Summary: Jaime left Kings Landing and is going North. Brienne is on her way back to Winterfell.They met again, they set off on the road again and this time none of them is prisoner.





	1. Unexpected rider

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfic here and I must warn you that my English isn't best. But I know that in Polish no one would read this XD   
> So I'm sorry for all mistakes, I'm trying. Hope you will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writting! 
> 
> I hope for comments. Either positive or not. I would love to know what I should do better <3

_Brienne_

It was snowing. Damned snow was falling. As if everything else was not enough. They were still far to the South and it was snowing. White snowflakes were sluggishly falling down from the sky. Brienne was wondering if Tarth is already covered by white coating. At least she was trying to thing about it but she wasn't good at it. For real her thoughts scattered around something else. Someone else. She couldn't delete from her memory his gaze stolen by her in presence of so many people. In presence of Queen Cersei. But if these gaze was her only memory then she would felt completly different. For sure not so tragic. But there was also this short exchange of words... He was so cold, so unfamiliar... Like if he was irritated that she called to him. They have gone through so much together and he tried to dispose of her. She felt her heart burst into small pieces. She would not dare to dream about anything but still she had a hope that this little attachment, maybe even friendship between them is real. Apparently recalculated.

She stood up in silence and left people who were warming up by the fire. She went away in darkness and breathed loudly. She had hope that Podrick will not soon notice her disappearance. She cared for a moment of calm. Away from this stupid dialogues and politics. Everybody was talking about the Others and about Queen Cersei's change of mind. But Brienne could only think about hypnotic green eyes which last time looked at her in anger. Why had she became close to someone who saw world completly different? Almost always there was a misunderstanding among them, yet still she hoped, still her heart beat faster at the memory of him...

"Milady?" worried voice of her squire pulled her to the ground. She blinked gustily and noticed that she was sitting on overthrown trunk. More layers of snow grew around her. She didn't remember the moment in witch she sat. 

"Yes, Pod?"

"Is everything alright, milady?" he asked, standing next to her.

"Yes..." she whispered, "I need a moment for my own." she explained.

"It's dangerous to go so far away from the camp..."

"What is threatening me, Pod? We made an alliance with Queen. Nobody is threatening us for a while. By the way I have Oathkeeper with me. Don't forget this. "

" Of course, milady. Should I sit next to you?"

"No. I want to be alone. Go back to the others."

Boy nodded and disappeared with her back. Brienne didn't want to watch the firecamp and people who were tough to beat incoming threat from the North. She wanted this too, of course, but... Fight with dead meant death for many. She began to think for the first time in long time that she might die. The fact of her mortality was even more painful because of that she has not had contact with her father for a long time, has not seen her family home for years, she has lost Renly whom she loved over life and she was painfully disposed of by the one who stole her ... that ... that .. where she cared.

It was pathetic. She could not think of anything else. She, the ugliest woman in the world, who received only mockery and pain from the men, felt like a stunned, stupid lady.  
She would most like to cry to someone in the shoulder. Jaime's shoulder...  No. She could not. He was a Lannister, an opponent, and beyond that he obviously did not even feel the friendship that began to grow between them. Apparently he did not consider her a person who could give him note, who could talk with him in the company of important people. Was he ashamed of their relationship? Or maybe he had enough of pretending that he tolerates her? Why then did he give her the Oathkeeper? Why did he for seven hells tell her about killing Aerys?

"Damned" she whispered to herself and wiped a lonely tear from her cheek. She will die alone in this bloody snow and only her father will cry over her death.  
  
Then she heard the horse's rattle and hoofbeats. Immediately, she reached to her feet and involuntarily grasped the handle of her sword. She calmed her breath and stepped into the darkness toward the noise.  
  
"Who is going? " she asked firmly, stubbornly staring at the rider. She only saw a dark figure on a horse that stopped several meters from her.  
  
"Jaime Lannister," he said, and her heart stopped.  
  
"Ser Jaime ..." she repeated dryly. Equally as cold as snow all around, as the wind breaking through her coat and clothes.

She watched carefully as the stranger jumped off the horse  and grabbing his reins goes to her decisively. It was only when he approached the meter that she noticed that the horse's jaw was heavy and Jaime was tired and exhausted. She was about to ask the reason, but before she opened her mouth in her head echoed his last words to her. _And what will I tell her?_ It was like an accusation, like stoning her stupid idea. Worse than when he called her a _wench_. Back t hen she considered him a oathbreaker and did not intend to take care of his words. Now it was different.          

"Brienne," he said, catching his breath. This time there was not a bit of formality in his voice. Her name sounded sweetly in his mouth. So soft and warm that her hands trembled. "I have to see the Dragon Queen or Snow or my brother. Anybody…"

This time her lips quivered. She did not trust herself enough to speak right away. She wanted to grab him for his clothes and shake. She was no one to him, but it should not worry her. It should not bother her.  
She shook herself and so she looked into his brilliant green eyes, and he withstood the look, and even returned them. And they remained so for a long moment, staring into each other.

"They are not here," she said finally. Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Oh... Where...?"

"They sail to Winterfell. Everyone who counts," she said and fell silent. She stood stiff, straight and proud, although inside she could not put herself together.

"I understand that you are going there too?" he asked and sighed heavily. Without waiting for an answer, he headed toward the fire and horses tethered nearby. He stopped in a few steps and looked at her. "Are not you going?"

"No, ser Jaime. You do not need my escort," she said and took her place back on the trunk. For a moment she did not hear the steps until finally he moved. Then she just hid her face in her hands and moaned softly. This conversation was the last thing she needed.          

The horse snorted softly, and Brienne stiffened. A second later, she felt someone take the place next to her. All her muscles tightened and she slowly pushed her hands away from her face. He was there. So close and so far away. He watched her carefully, as if with concern. His only hand hung uncertainly a few centimeters from her shoulder, and there was a question on his lips. When she looked at him, he withdrew his hand to his chest and looked away. Now he was staring into the darkness, just like she had until recently.   


"Cersei was lying," he confessed with pain, and she never felt more shocked. _Why did he tell h er? Why he was here? Why he left Kings Landing, his family, his twin siter? _A treason should not be a reason for someone in love... But even if he was ther, next to her. _ Why did he stay with her in cold instead of going to the campfire? _He was so badly dressed. She could practically see him trembling. Even in the dark.

"So why are you here? Her loyal knight..."

"Stop it," he almost snapped and looked at her from under his wrinkled brows. She did not want to hear it and suffer. So she tried to get up, but then he grabbed her arm and pulled her down. 

"I'm sorry. I did not want to ... I never wanted to offend you, Brienne."

She was silent. She had no idea what she could answer. His apologies sounded sincere, but it was still too little. And yet the Queen's lie... So they were not safe at all. They should inform the King in the North and the Dragon Queen as soon as possible. Since it was not only the terror from behind the Wall, but also the threat of the Lannisters. And it was Jaime who was saying so. As if he became a man with honor. She felt proud of him for a moment.  


Only after several long seconds, she realized that Jaime still not removed the hand from her arm. Immediately she blushed, which, fortunately, in the darkness he could not see.  
  
"You should go to the rest and ask for fur and food. You look finicky, "she said, looking away and trying hard to ignore his touch.  
  
"And you?"  
  
"I will stay. I do not feel like companionship."  
  
Once again there was a silence that rang in her ears. Brienne felt uncomfortable. She wanted to cry,  she wanted to cry  so badlly. Into his arm. And yet she could not afford it. It would prove only weakness, and she was not sure if he would not use it. Again he became a mystery to her, a potential enemy.

"Brienne... " Jaime broke the silence and moved a little closer to her. "You know that I could not say anything else. We were on the opposite side... I tried to talk to Cersei, really. It did not do anything, but I did what you asked for."  
  
"It does not matter."  
  
"Of course it does. I hate to argue with you about politics."  
  
She stiffened. He once said it. That day in the tent. She belonged to the enemy, yet she was still safe in the Lannister camp. Everything thanks to him. However, she still doubted. How could she? She told him once that she trusted him. Although no one else has ever trusted. She felt completely lost, and his gaze only hindered everything.

"Ser Jaime ..." She whispered, feeling tangible tension between them. 

"What is this _ser_ for? How long do I have to tell you that my name is Jaime? Just Jaime." 

"You are a knight," she contradicted.  


"I broke so many oaths that I probably do not deserve this title. Do not you remember?" 

"No," she said again, shaking her head. "You are the best knight I have ever met," she said before she could bite her tongue. Immediately she regretted, because Jaime smiled brazenly, as only he could. Sad and sweet at the same time.

"In that case, isn't it enough for you that we know each other so well to call me only by my name? Because if you think otherwise, then I went out on a fool forgetting to add the _lady_ every time I addresed to you" he said calmly, and she could not catch even a bit of mockery. It was really this Jaime. This changed, noble. Her Jaime. Again, it left her speechless and she did not know what to say. By the way she noticed that he finally took his hand from her shoulder. Trembling hand. He was shaking. Brienne opened her frightened eyes broader. After all, he was freezing. And probably starving.

She leaned back and picked up a bit, all to be able to unbutton her coat. Jaime looked at her with surprise tracking her movements. She knew it was inadequate, but it did not appear that they got up and went to the fire. She moved closer to him carefully and covered them both with her coat. Then they continued silently, staring into the darkness. This time no one interrupted the silence.  
  
Brienne could not even say when she fell asleep. The darkness of the night turned into darkness under her eyelids. It was so warm, so nice, so pleasant...         


	2. Life which he left behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after Jaime and Brienne reunion and some embarrassment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you who left kudos and comments under first chapter! It gives me a lot of energy to write!  
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter too ;)  
> For now nothing big happened but I have plans. It will be more interesting next time, I promise! 
> 
> Every advise, question and warm word or even a negative opinion is welcomed <3  
> With love for to all JB shippers...

_Jaime_

He fell asleep for a moment. Just in the morning, when the sun was already on the horizon. Brienne breathed slowly, leaning on his shoulder, and it was the first time in a long time when he felt a real peace. Dream came alone. And again he dreamed the same thing. Same damned nightmare.

Flames. Flames everywhere. _Burn them all..._ Whispered voice out of nowhere. Jaime knew perfectly well that it was a dream. He had both his hands again. In his right hand he held the sword. But the sword against the flames seemed little. He himself was cooking in his armor. Lannisters red and gold. On him and on people around. It was a field, a road to King's Landing. The place where Daenerys Targaryen and her dragon caught them up. Flames, fire, dragon fire. He sat on the horse again, saw the lance again. Everything was repeating. The only difference was that he had both hands and shiny sword in one of them now.  Something else did not match. A few things. First of all, Others appeared surrounded by snow where the fire was dying on the corpses. _Ice and Fire_. In the place of his opponent there was not the Dragon Queen. Cersei stood there in all her glory, in all her madness, and the dragon behind her was made of wild fire. Green flames were formed into a beast.

He rushed to the attack. Without hesitation but with pain in the heart. He used to love this woman. But now he had no choice. She was the one who whispered. Her voice reached him from all sides. _Burn them all._ He was very close and then the dragon turned toward him with his mouth open breathing green fire. This time there was no Bronn near to save him. Nobody. Everything disappeard. There was only fire aimed at him. Jaime rushed towards it screaming.       

Then Brienne appeared and shielded him with her body. She dropped him from the horse to the ground. And he woke up. He blinked his eyes violently, then looked around. The world was waking up to life, and the camp was probably gathering. The best evidence for this were two people standing just in front of him. Fucking Podrick Payne and Sandor Clegane. They watched him curiously. The squire stepping from one foot to the other and the Hound with his arms crossed over his chest. If he was not himself, Jaime probably would have blushed. But why exactly? He did not count with their opinion about his person. But Brienne... The Maid of Tarth still slept peacefully on his shoulder. Both under her cloak, away from the fire, on a lone trunk. It all must have looked suspicious. If there are any rumors, Brienne will probably break. And there will be no company in which she could not blush. He was used to slander but she was so innocent and naive... Even if at their last meeting she managed to curse and abandon her beloved loyalty.

On the other hand, the two observers were probably more intrigued by what he was doing here at all. He was still thinking about it. He gave up everything he knew so far. He abandoned Cersei and their unborn child. Only that it was no longer the woman he knew. She changed, got drunk with power, went crazy. He did not want to stand by her side when she change into Mad Queen. Let someone else be this time Queenslayer. He had enough bad fame already and besides, it was Cersei. His golden twin sister. For the sake of the past, their love, family relationships, he would not be able to do the right thing. Even if she came to him in nightmares. So escape was the only right choice. Away from her, from Her manipulation, from her games and cheats. Jaime understood now that he was a blind fool ready to kill just to have his sister spread her legs in front of him. She used it. He wondered for how long. When love changed in using him, controlling, manipulating...

"Good morning, gentlemen" he said with a smile and gently moved his arm, trying to wake the sleeping woman.

"Fucking Kingslayer" Clegane greeted him with his eternity discontented voice. “You better wake the Lady of Tarth up cause we are moving on. And then do what you want.”

"M-My lord..." Pod added shyly.

Jaime could only smile and turn to Brienne. She slept unmoved by conversation, or his movements. He needed to be more vigorously. He carefully pushed her away from himself, returning her to a vertical position. The maneuver worked and his companion slowly raised her eyelids. She looked still tired, and after a while also terrified. Probably all the irrationality of the situation has come to her. Then she stared at him with those wonderful, beautiful blue eyes as if she was looking for support and rescue.       

"It's time to go, Lady Brienne," he greeted her sweet and rose from the trunk. As soon as her coat fell from his shoulder, the piercing chill reached him. Jaime could not control his body trembling. He was tired, hungry and cold. All the way from King's Landing to the areas near Dragonstone he beaten without a stop, almost exhausting the horse. So strange that he managed to forget about it for all night. Staring into the dark, with a great beast for a woman sleeping on his shoulder. It was probably all because of her, but he was not sure.

„Of course,” Brienne finally said, and also stood up. She looked at all the gathered and Jaime had a feeling that she was going to blush. He loved when she felt embarrassed. It was one of the nicest things he saw. Although previously he thought that he just likes to annoy her. But back then he joked about Renly and her ugliness, and over time it turned into something much more subtle. If not completely gone. He did not have occasion to embarrass her, they too rarely saw each other. “We will soon join those who set off” Brienne promised to Hound and hung her gaze on Podrick. “Pod, bring some fur and some food for ser Jaime" She added and fell silent until both uninvited guests moved away to the place where the fire had burned the previous evening. "I'm sorry," she trailed toward him, staring straight into his eyes. It was hard to withstand this look and not think what _would happen if_... But he could not. He should not. He did not... And even if, he was the worst match. _Oathbreaker, Kingslayer, man without honor, lover of his own sister_. And Brienne was the noblest of women.

"What is it for?" He asked naively, but already guessed her words. But he did not want her to apologize for it. It was pure pleasure for him, but if he told her so, she probably would have thought it   joke. She reacted like that to every compliment, although he did not give her many of them. He wondered why, what is the story behind it all. Probably it was about her look and girlish need for acceptance. From childhood, of course. Because Brienne, whom he knew did not care about the opinion of others, with a wry smile she endured the words that hurt her and above all, she wanted to be a knight. Not a lady with husband and children.

"I fell asleep on your shoulder," she whispered, and he could not help smiling. How could she think it was wrong? He would gladly embrace her and hug her to his heart. He wanted to apologize in this way. He still regretted how he treated her in the Dragon Pit. But if she reacted so badly to accidentally touching him, putting his head on his shoulder, it did not make sense. He did not want to put her in such an awkward position.

“Nothing bad happened. It is not sin yet” he threw lightly and only by his willpower refrained from a silly smile and a wink of an eye.  He must have been nice. Brienne was not like Cersei, who enjoyed every one obscene thought. "Anyway, no one will think of anything," he assured her gravely. “They will not dare to question the innocence of the Maid of Tarth. Not with the onehanded Kingslayer.”

"It's not what I ..." she began, flushed with a blush. At this sight, Jaime was not able to stifle the silent laughter.

“Don’t you worry, Brienne. You just fell asleep on my shoulder. It does not bother me," he said and smiled convincingly. Again there was a moment in which they just looked into each other eyes. He loved these moments. Just like this. For him it could last forever, but unfortunately Podrick came back to them with fur and food.

"Milady, m-my lord" the boy greeted them and gave Jaime warm clothing, which he accepted with gratitude. Brienne took breakfast and split it between their three. There was not much, so they were ready to go soon. Without a word, they reached their horses, and then joined the Unsullied, who were slowly heading North. There were several horses in front of them, on which the Hound and the rest of the company rode.

Despite the fatigue, hunger and growing frost, Jaime knew he had to get to Winterfell soon enough. It was his duty to inform the allies of the fraud. The capital promised its army, its swords, and meanwhile only one of them set out on the road. Without Cersei's permission, he had no power to lead the armed forces out of the city. They would have not listen to him, and he would have been captured. A lonely trip, or rather a flight from his sister, seemed the most reasonable of the unreasonable solutions that remained with him. Although Jaime was still arguing with himself. In order to keep one oath, he had to break a whole lot of others. Cause what if your queen betrays the living leaving them at the mercy of the dead? Cersei lost everything that inhibited her insane inclinations. _Joffrey, Myrcella, Tommen_. Her children. _His_ children. Their children. For whom he never was a father.

He tightened his eyes, trying to get rid of unpleasant thoughts, and when he opened them, he saw Brienne's worried gaze. She opened and closed her big mouth as if to say something, but she could not decide. A couple of nasty comments and provocations came to his head, but he kept them all for himself. She did not deserve to take his anger out on her. She was always nice to him, even when he was awful, she fought for him, saved his life, and he still could not repay properly. He could just brake his tongue. This time, she also helped him. One look at her was enough to stop worrying. _Fuck loyalty_. Did not she say so? It was something more than that. Fight of the living and the dead. His ugly wench knew what to say to influence him. He still could not stop being amazed.

“If you want to say something, Brienne, just say it” he encouraged her and sent her the sincerest of his smiles. And for the Seven, he has not been smiling for so long. Amazing how many emotions this one woman was able to arouse in him. Resentment, delight, irritability, worry, joy. In such a difficult time she gave him joy. And suddenly he had a great desire to just hug her. Although she still looked like a fish stretched out to the shore, opening and closing her mouth.

But it was not Brienne who spoke in response to his words. Lady of Tarth gathered in herself and looked away, which moved him in a weird way. He did not understand why their two could not normally talk. Most sincere they were with each other when they were captured by the Bloody Mummers, when he lost his hand and she was nearly raped. There was no direct threat now, no a knife putted to their throats so the conversation became more complicated.

"W-Why did you c-came here, ser?" Podric asked, riding his horse between the horses of Jaime and Brienne. Onehanded Lannister focused on this fact and unconsciously licked his frozen, chapped lips. Only after a moment the boy's question came to him and he looked deep into squire’s eyes. Then he saw that the snow had thickened around him and there was more and more of it falling from heaven. The near and far forests were the only shadows in the white space. The horizon was also blurred. Kingsroad was long gone. “I-If I can ask, ser. E-Everyone is thinking a-about it.”        

“They should not be so surprised. I have sworn to fight with you during this great final war." he said and laughed in his own words. _Kingslayer, Oathbreaker, man without honor_. What could mean his word for others? Probably despite that he made the only correct decision they will remind him that he left the Queen he promised to serve. That's how it was before, when he killed Aerys. Suddenly, they all forgot about the bad deeds of those he betrayed. He was the bad guy for them. “I'm a knight. I have to keep my word," he added, and looked up at Brienne, who tried hard not to turn her head in his direction. He was sure she heard him. **_Fuck loyalty_**. _Are you sure, wench? Is it what you want from me? You do not look pleased._

The silence that came down this time was due to the cold that forced them to pull the fur just under the neck. They wanted to cover every exposed to frost piece of skin and through the layers of clothing it was difficult to speak. It effectively suppressed their voices. At the same time they also caught up with the riders ahead. No one said a word to them, but all eyes followed Jaime. He was intrigued by what was going on in their minds. Especially those whose gaze was running across between him and Brienne. He did not marvel at them, in Dragon Pit He and the Maid of Tarth probably gave them a reason to gossip. Wench herself could also be exposed to mockery if she tried to defend his honor or if she told someone that she trusted him.

He squeezed his horse and rode closer to the one person he could trust in this company. She was stubbornly staring ahead but he did not mind it. How could he? She slept on his shoulder. So she could not abhor him, hate him.

„Brienne…”   

„Yes, ser Jaime?”

“I should go faster. Daenerys and Snow should know that...” he began strongly ignoring the fact that she once again addressed him per _ser_.

“They will not reach Winterfell before us. you would only overtake them and you would have to wait. They want to meet the army on the way and get to the castle together.” she interrupted calm but firm voice. There was no point in arguing, though Jaime could not agree with a vision of slow wandering at the side of the marching eunuchs. He felt the burning urge to act. Even the phantom hand itched him incredibly.

„So I should get to the meeting place faster. They should be aware of the situation as soon as possible and make a plan. I know that the threat from the North is now the most important, but they have every right to know they will not get reinforcements from King's Landing” he objected involuntarily, raising his voice gently. But lowered it immediately when he realized that not only Brienne's blue eyes were staring at him.

“If so...” his interlocutor murmured. Obviously she was shocked by his decisiveness. Again, it did not work out the way he wanted. “Then go.”

"Not without you" he objected and finally caught her glance again. Another stolen seconds of looking each other in the soul. It cleaned him up. He needed this not to forget that he did the right thing. After all, he tried to be the kind of person she wanted to him to be.


	3. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne is wondering, Brienne is listening, Brienne confess, Brienne is dreaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I want to thank you all! Your comments and kudos give me energy to writte <3 I love you guys.  
> So go on. Look what I have for you! We are slowly aproaching bigger action! And some romance... All in good time, my dear, all in good time.

_Brienne_

She really did not understand his motives. She was constantly trying to find an excuse for his insistence on her company while traveling the North. She was not going to stop him if so commanded him his conscience. Only she didn't notice her own role in it. And yet she agreed. Although she did not understand why he had come. He abandoned King's Landing, the Queen, his family. Previously, she asked him to convince his sister but she would not dare ask him to abandon her. Jaime and Cersei Lannister loved each other. Right? So why was he riding north next to her instead of staying with his beloved?       

They set out. Jaime, she and Pod. The boy insisted on accompanying her and Brienne felt responsible for him. The objections from the onehanded knight who stubbornly claimed that Podrick would slow them down came to nothing. If he wanted her company, he also had to accept the presence of her squire. Although the others preferred to call the boy _chaperone_. It probably hurt the most. She had already heard that she had been called a _Kingslayer's Whore_. All because she wielded Lannister's sword and believed so much in Jaime. People could not understand it. Among other things, she was delighted with the prospect of traveling in a smaller circle.

Huge number of Unsullied, unpredictable Dothraki, Hound’s vulgarity, mutual suspicion of people from the North and subjected to the Dragon Queen and many others. Whispers, laughter, fear, talk about women and whores. Even with people who could not use their services. It was not for her.

She remembered the way she came with Pod from Winterfell. Even in the snow and the blizzard she was able to find the road. So they stepped forward and overtook Unsulited. Whites were everywhere but forests, rivers and inns were still in place. Brienne knew how to orient in the field. She did not care too much about the road. She was more worried about her lady who was in Winterfell. Sansa Stark was lovely and wise but Lord Littlefinger was cunning. Brienne feared that he could harm both Stark girls. Although Arya was able to defend herself and Sansa was cautious due to her experiences, they could both be manipulated. She did not think of them as stupid girls, definitely it wasn't the point. She was simply afraid of Baelish, who was clearly thirsty for power and wanted Lady Sansa. Everyone considered him a dangerous man, a manipulator. Brienne did not know him well but what she knew, raised her caution. This man should not be trusted.

“The last time I was here” Jaime said suddenly, pulling her eyes like a magnet. She could not deny herself the pleasure of looking at him. He was pretty handsome. Clear cheekbones, straight nose, hypnotic emerald eyes and those golden hair on his head and jaw. As she studied his face, she remembered all the rest of him, and she had seen everything. She immediately blushed. "Hym ... when _we_ were here," he corrected, and she looked around. Indeed, it was one of the places they have traveled during their common journey to King's Landing. "I was your prisoner. And now I go back voluntarily to the North.”

“And this time it's definitely farther, "she announced in reply and squeezed the sides of her horse to move forward. Podrick rode all the time bit behind her so after this maneuver he caught up with Jaime. Brienne heard the tidbit of their conversation but she decided not to focus on it. She balanced her breathing, tried to relax a little, and a song came back to her head. She had known it since childhood. _The bear and the maiden fair_. She used to like it a lot. The lady who waited for the knight danced with the bear that licked honey from her hair. It was quite funny when her father sang it. He was pretending to be a bear and she was chasing him around trying to escape. But at the end they always danced together anyway. Only thanks to similar efforts her father managed to persuade her to a memorable ball when she was ridiculed. _Brienne the Beauty_. A cruel joke. Later, however, she suffered a crueler one. For example the bear and the maiden fair. Bloody Mummers thought it was hilarious. They dressed her in pink dresses and gave her a sparring sword and they threw her down to a bear pit. They all sang the lovely song at that time, waiting for the moment when the bear would kill the Maid of Tarth. 

Then Jaime came. She never understood why he came back for her. He was a valuable prisoner who had already been sent off but he did everything to bring himself back to save her. And he succeeded. Then she stopped calling him the _Kingslayer_ , and he stopped calling her a _wench_. They both learned to respect each other. Sometimes it occurred to her to contemplate how far and difficult the road together was.

"That's not fair, Podrick Payne" Jaime exclaimed, and after a moment he was riding beside her. He looked overcast, worried. But she preferred not to ask. Not yet, not at that moment. He would share his thoughts with her if he wanted           

They pitched a small camp in the evening. They kindled a fire, ate, and then sat silently staring at the flames. Podrick fell asleep sitting, so she told him to wrap up in furs and go to sleep, promising that she too will soon be laying down. The boy was very worried about her. Before falling asleep, he suddenly opened his eyes several times and looked for her. Then he stared at Jaime for a moment, then closed his eyes again. Brienne was very attached to him. And not fully aware of it, she looked at him with a blissful smile on her face. As through the fog she remembered the day when she met this adorable young man. Jaime introduced Podrick to her as a squire. Only later, when talking to boy, she understood that he was very much up to his former superior. Podrick served Tyrion Lannister and was greatly disturbed by his disappearance. He hoped to find him where Brienne would find Sansa who was a Imp's wife. But that did not happen, and Podrick settled under Brienne’s wings. She began to teach him, train him, take care of him. She found in him support and comfort in difficult times. She found a friend.      

Then Brienne heard the move, and a moment later Jaime was sitting right next to her, although until now he sat on the opposite side of the fire. She involuntarily tensed her muscles and looked at him with a corner of her eye. He pulled a leather glove from his golden hand. At this sight, the shiver ran down her back. It was her fault. That they were caught, that Bloody Mummers crippled him. She could not stop the sad sigh.

"You really like this guy," Jaime said, not even looking at her. They both stared at Podrick. “He is a good kid. He cares for you a lot.”

She licked her lips nervously and looked at Jaime's beautiful profile.

"What did you talk to him about today?" she asked quietly, barely audible.

"About you," he said with a smile. That's all. No more words. “You should sleep. I will take the first watch.”      

“You did not sleep last night. It is you who should sleep," she protested. In response she heard only silence. But then a cold shiver ran through her arm when on her hand, which she kept loosely on a piece of her coat, rested another, golden hand. She automatically looked at her companion and wondered if he had made it consciously. He, however, looked at her questioningly as if not understanding her amazement. So she concluded that it was a coincidence. It also allowed her to stay in the same position. Since he did not feel it... She could have stolen that moment for herself and so she did. Like holding hands. Almost like his touch on her skin. Almost…   

“Podric told me that you told him about an event from your childhood...” he spoke, still not looking at her. “He did not say anything else, though I insisted. That's all.” After these words he cleared his throat and slumped flat to the ground. He wrapped himself in his fur and closed his eyes. He was lying on his side with his face pointing in her direction. So close that she could dip her fingers in his hair, touch his cheek, arm. But the golden hand disappeared from her true hand. Brienne sighed softly and stared at the fire. Her heart and throat were squeezed. Her childhood. Her dance... _Renly_. 

“My childhood was not a bed of roses” she whispered, hoping that Jaime was asleep and that her sudden spurt on confessions will be unnoticed. She was sure only that he did not open his eyes, did not ask, did not do anything. He did not even move. "I was always big and ugly and boys saw it. My father was the only one who did not understand it. He wanted me to marry someone. So he issued a ball and dressed me in gowns. But instead of cheering I was greeted with laughter and mockery. I wanted to run away, I would have escaped... But there was Renly. He asked me to dance and everyone around fell silent. They knew from which family he came from...” she paused for a moment, not knowing what to say next. She wanted to pour out all the regrets and sorrows, get it off her chest. Her eyes were covered with tears but it was still not all. “I was not so stupid not to know. Not to find out. He did not love me, he pitied me and that's all. But I was grateful anyway. Well... Not only grateful.” she whispered and hesitated. Even if Jaime and Pod were asleep that could not be said aloud. _Love_... It would be an admission of her girly, feminine side. Admission of her desire to be loved. It was hard for her to do it even if only to herself. “That's why I wanted to serve in his guards. So I followed him as he gathered his army. I left home for him. And there in the camps they mocked me further. A woman cannot be a knight. A woman isn't good enough. Cursed idiots” she said, clenching her fists. “One day something changed. They started to compliment me, helping me, fighting for my attention. One even brought me a rose. I was so happy... And stupid. Naive. The way you thought I am when we met for the first time” she admitted looking at Jaime. "I wanted it to be true. But it turned out that all this was a bet. You suspected that something like this happened to me. _One or two had to try to get to a Big Brienne..._ One or two tried. For money. It was a stupid bet. The first who would take me was to collect money. That's all. All my horror” she said in ether and fell silent.

Nothing happened for a long while. Both of her companions slept. But Jaime suddenly moved. History has already been told so it did not scare her. As long as the head of the Young Lion was not on her thigh. Then he purred delightfully like a real cat and curled up, adhering to her very close. It was an amazing feeling. Brienne was all warmed up. And she let herself get carried away. Since he was sleeping... Another stolen moment. She covered him carefully with one more fur and then she dipped a hand in his hair. It was so soft and delicate that she could not stop admiring it. Then she touched his cheek. It was rough from the stubble but still sensuous.

Jaime Lannister was sleeping hugged to her thigh. Brienne felt happy like never in her life. So she did not wake him up to change the guard.

In the middle of the night, Podrick woke up. He jumped up suddenly to sitting position and she just lazily turned her head toward him. For a moment she forgot about that this, what filled her with peace and joy for the boy must have looked at least inadequate. She watched in silence as he calmed his breath and covered in fur looked for her gaze. Only his wide open eyes and the question that stood on his lips made Brienne aware of what Pod had seen. _Kingslayer's Whore_. She was sure he would not call her that but the two words returned to her like a boomerang very often. Podrick also heard it. And not once. He probably remembered of the newly given her name now.

"Milady," he greeted her softly, and she just nodded. She was grateful for the fact that the boy did not intend to comment on Jaime's pose. Perhaps he understood that she had no influence on it. Though it was not entirely true. After all, she could carefully move away the beautiful Lannister from herself. The truth was that she did not want it at all. "Did you slept, milady?"

"No," she said softly, hoarsely. Only then did she realize that her throat had dried up. She really cared for boy's opinion. She so much wanted him to understand her. Someone like her was not even allowed to dream of a Young Lion. Podrick knew it. He also knew she was dreaming anyway. And he pitted her. She saw it in his eyes.           

They exchanged a few more sentences. Pod scolded her as much as he could until she finally agreed to take a nap, leaving him on guard. She leaned more comfortably on the tree behind her back, wrapped up in fur and staring at the blond hair resting on her thigh, fell asleep.

 _Lion, lion, lion_. She dreamed of a lion. He was beautiful, big, golden. But blood was leaking from his right paw. He was limping. She wanted to get close to him, to dress his wound but the wild animal did not allow her to do so. He growled, roared, snapped his teeth. However, Brienne was not afraid, and despite its horror she approached. The big cat still showed his dissatisfaction but he did not hurt her. So she could see his paw and she realized that it was because of the big spike that it was bleeding.

She reached out the spike with a moan and then the animal threw herself at her. Most likely infuriated by the pain. He knocked her on the back and stood upright over her, roaring horribly, straight into her face. For a moment he bared his fangs but at the end he licked her with his rough tongue. Finally, he circled around her and settled down so she could lean against him. He was warm and soft. With him she felt safe.

She woke up only when someone shook her. She lifted her eyelashes rapidly and Jaime Lannister's green eyes greeted her. At that moment, she knew that her heart would not hold too many such mornings. It was too much to bear. She decided that she would sleep as far away as possible from the Young Lion tonight. She could not bear further his courtesy, this illusory hope, this mockery, which was any positive emotion from the beautiful man.

"Hello, my lady," his warm voice greeted her. He even pulled at her his left hand to help her up. Brienne just waited for some comment from him, too scared to even touch his hand. She did not expect any reaction to the fact that he fell asleep nestling her. It was just a search for heat in the cold winter. Besides, Jaime probably was convinced that if he woke up first then she knew nothing. She was not sure he had heard her confession the previous night. "Come on, Brienne. Get up.”

She obeyed. Just because the refusal would be too suspicious. She took his only hand and rose to her feet. She smiled gently for a good morning, then shivered from the icy wind. The weather was getting worse day by day. And they did not have a lot of fur or larger supplies of provisions. Hunting in the snow and blizzard seemed impossible. Brienne hoped that they would reach their destination safely.

"Today we might be able to spend night in an inn," she said, looking at her companions. On both men's faces she saw a sort of disappointment. She did not understand why. Vision of sleeping in a warm, comfortable bed should have made them happy. “And if we're lucky, in a few days we will be on site.”


	4. Night in the inn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So how it ended with the inn....  
> And did Jaime listen to Brienne night before? :o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you still enjoy this! :} So... Thank you once more for kudos and comments ;) I really need this. Both <3  
> It would be most kind of you to leave me even only two or three words. Let me know if the way I writte this fits you. Or what more you would like to read :D  
> Enjoy!

_Jaime_

"I do not have so much money with me, wench" he whispered to the Maid of Tarth when they stopped at the inn. Brienne wanted to stay there for the night and wait until the end of a blizzard raging outside. He would have preferred to go as far as they could until dusk and once again set up camp under the stars. ”Imagine that escapeing from King's Landing I did not think about packing sacks full of gold.”

Tall owner of blue eyes sent him a firm look that pierced him. At that moment he already knew that he had lost the quarrel. He sensed it before. After all, they had been arguing since the morning when the wench decided they had to reach the inn before dark. Jaime was not impressed. In all, he could not give a specific reason why. Probably because of the fact that Brienne insisted on renting two rooms. One for her and one for Podrick and Jaime to share. It was a waste of money and superfluity. One room is more than enough for them all. But she had to play pure and honorable until pain. As if they not slept shoulder to shoulder during their last journey together. Bloody Mummers tied them backwards or forwards, throwing them on horseback or land, and they had to cope with it. That intimacy used to be disgusting to him, then he became accustomed to it and now avoiding this like the plague simply annoyed him.

"I'll pay for all of us. And stop calling me that, ser" Brienne said, and he could not do much more than sigh heavily. They sat at one of the free tables and whispered over the warm meal that had just been set before them. Podrick went to see the horses, which enjoyed the warmth of the stables and dry hay. He leaned over plates and clutched his only hand on left wrist of Tarth's only heiress. He looked deep into her eyes, almost pleading. Since he lost, he wanted to sweeten this defeat a bit. Compromise would be the ideal solution.

"One room," he demanded and felt her shiver. "One room," he repeated firmy with wryly smile.. His field of vision narrowed to her frightened face. He wanted to laugh and ask if Brienne was afraid of him. _Is it because I'm strong enough, wenchl?_ _Are you afraid that even without my hand I can knock you down and get you if I want?_ As if she did not understand that Jaime would not do anything against her will. And it was not just about her privacy and security. He trusted her words, trusted her. There was no sense in doing something that she would find unjust.”Me and the boy will sleep on the ground if you are afraid of us. Do not waste money.”

Uncertainty plagued him only for a moment but then Brienne nodded. It lifted a huge weight off ofhis shoulders. At least for a moment. He took his hand from her wrist, leaned back in his seat and started eating. Then he noticed that Podrick had already returned from the stables and stood at their table unsure what he should do.  

"Sit down, boy," he encouraged, swallowing a morsel of meat. “Eat, get warm. Today we sleep under the roof” he added, sending squire a smile. Meanwhile, Brienne rose without a word and went to the innkeeper to buy them a night's sleep. Jaime had to admit that he needed that little bit of heat in his stomach and around him. Otherwise he could freeze on the way. "Our lady agreed for one room," he explained, seeing Pod's curious gaze. The boy muttered something under his breath and started to eat.

Brienne returned a moment later and led them to the second floor of the inn. There she opened one of the many doors through which she went first, effectively hiding her face all the time. Jaime could not marvel at her reaction. She tried to avoid him from the morning and he so desperately hoped for a moment of sincere conversation. Without the threat of Pod, who could came and interupt them. In the common room it seemed impossible. But he did not want to wait until the next day, he already waited too long. Last night she opened up before hi and he was silent since then. He should have sprang up and comfort her. But he decided to give her a moment of privacy and time to bounce back. He also had to get used to the information he received. One thing was certain. He was no longer surprised that she fell in love with Renly.

He let Pod trough the door and closed it behind himself. To their astonishment they were in three with two beds. Brienne stood in the middle of the room, unsure what to do with herself. He could not help smiling at this sight. She wanted to please everyone, be fair, although this wasn’t always possible.

"I insisted on letting go accommodation in the inn" he said, catching the attention of his companions. They watched him carefully, waiting for his next words. "I'm going to sleep on the floor," he decided and unbuckled his sword from the waist. He leaned against one of the beds, next to which he crouched. Brienne's squire obediently took one pallet, this further from Jaime, but she herself was still standing. "Do not protest," he whispered, and looked her straight in the eye.

She obeyed. Without saying a word, she sat down on the bed and pulled away shoes and unnecessary layers of clothes. He watched her all the time, not even thinking that it might seem intrusive to her. Meanwhile, Pod had already hidden under the blanket and turned his face to the wall as he fell asleep. Jaime felt that this could be his opportunity for talk. At first, however, he pulled off his boots and settled himself on the ground. He occupied the space between one and the other bed, staying closer to this, which Brienne took.     

At that moment the pillow and fur of the Maid of Tarth landed on his stomach. He blinked his eyes rapidly and raised himself on his elbows enough to send her a questioning look. She was already covered, with her head on the side of the bed next to which he held his legs.

"I have a bed," she explained, closing her eyes. Jaime snorted amused, forcing her to re-raise his eyelids. Their eyes met and Brienne blushed. He did not know why.

"Thank you," he said finally. "I..."

" Yes?" she asked quietly, sleepily.

He could not say _that_ with calm voice, from so far away. He wanted to hold her hand and whisper consolation words straight to her ear. She was wronged girl. Maybe she did not look like one, maybe she hated being treated like that, but it was true.

Silence stretched and she waited with half-closed eyes staring at him. The only candle they found in the room dimmed at the table. Its glow fell on the Oathkeeper, which was leaning against one of the table legs.

"I ..." he began again. "I listened. Yesterday."           

Only that he could say. And her eyes opened wide. Brienne lifted up on one elbow, she was all tense and Jaime felt that he started the wrong way. She was afraid of the words he wanted to say. He did not like it. So he cleared his throat, rose from the floor and sat on the edge of her bed. All this he did very slowly, by the way forgetting about Podrik, who snore quietly on his bed.

"Do not you dare to pity me," the wench whispered. Probably it should sounded like a threat but Jaime heard only a quiet sob, a request. She did not want to talk about it. Not with him. Who would like to share their innermost secrets with _Kingslayer_? After all, he could not be trusted. And yet she trusted him. Why? He could not say.

He did not even notice when his hand landed on her cheek. Warm, gentle, freckled cheek. There was no tears on it that he could wipe. Just fear. And after a while there was also her surprisingly gentle hand on his hand. She grabbed his wrist and pulled away. This simply gesture filled him with regret and sadness. Meanwhile Brienne sat down and pulled her legs under her, making more space for him. They sat in silence, wondering what to say. He still did not know how to help, what to do to comfort her. But he wanted it.

After a moment they leaned against the wall, huddled under one blanket, staring at the dying flame of the candle. Only when it disappeared they felt more confident. For a moment they were surrounded by complete darkness, to which their eyes were not accustomed. They both took a deep breath. What happen in darkness stay in darkness. Right?

“What were their names?” Jaime asked, finally interrupting the silence.

“Who?" Brienne answered with another question. He did not believe that she did not know what he was asking. It was as bright as the sun. As obvious as the fact that winter has came.

”Your persecutors. Those who have teased you most. You have to remember a few names. Hate is a powerful feeling” he muttered through clenched teeth.

"Of course I remember," she said softly. “But I do not understand why _you_ need this knowledge.”

“Oh Brienne. Don’t you really know? I would rather known if I meet them by chance. Who knows. Maybe I will be able to bring them to justice on your behalf...”

“No,” she interrupted.

He fell silent obediently. And he stared with anger in the darkness.

“Ser Jaime...”

“Stop using this stiupid _ser_ , dull cow." he snapped and immediately regretted it. “I mean...”

“Jaime” Brienne improved, ignoring the rude part. “Why are you here? Why did you come? You forsook Queen Cersei and your family, your power, everything. Here on the road you are no one and in the North you will be the enemy. And... one more thing. I always wanted to ask you this. Why... Why did you come back for me to Harrenhal? You were on your way, probably far away, but you came back and saved me from the bear. Why?”

As far as the first question he still understood, the other one was surprising. For a moment it seemed even abstract. They were supposed to talk about her, her pain, her suffering. Meanwhile it came down to him. Not only to his loyalty and choices but to his feelings for her. Was that what she was expecting? That he will confess her love, falling to his knees? He could not do it. He did not know exactly what he felt about her. It was too complicated. So he chose the truth.   

“I dreamed of you. After leaving Harrenhal," he whispered. "And what about my trip to the North... I opened my eyes. That's all.”

This time they fell asleep simultaneously and awoke at the same time. Long before Podrick. Light came through the window into the room, irritating them and waking from sleep. Jaime did not want to succumb to it but he knew he had to.Though he had not slept so well in a long time. It was a night without a nightmare. No fear and screams in the middle of the night. He felt safe and light finally but only after he opened his eyes he understood where the heat, which filled him from the inside, was coming from. He fell asleep leaning against the wall, it was predictable. But Brienne... Brienne crouched at his side, her hands, head and half chest resting on his legs. He leaned his arms on her body, with a gold hand between her breasts, his arm around her arm.

He carefully released his companion and realized that she was not sleeping at all, she lay with open eyes. He was intrigued by what she thought of all this. In a moment he was about to learn because when he barely took his hands Brienne rose to her sitting position and stared at him.

"Good morning, my lady," he greeted her softly.

“Good morning, Jaime” she said and his lips curled in a sweet smile. Finally she learned. No unnecessary nickname, no stupid _ser_. Only his name. He fell in love with the way she spoke it. And all his body confirmed this love. That was little embarrassing. Like back then in tubs of Harrenhal when he got an erection at the sight of her naked body. It felt good.

She was still silent. _Does your heart beats so fast wench or is it mine?_ Jaime was definitely too happy and excited for it to end well. So he should leave before he do something stupid. Unimaginably stupid. How he could felt that way around someone other than Cersei? How he cold felt that way around someone that ugly? Around Brienne... It was strange and interesting at the same time. And Jaime did not want to stop it. His gaze stopped at her mouth and odd, overwhelming desire filled him in this moment. _Am I mad? Why you look strangely beautiful? No... No beautiful, that could never happened. But... attractive._

“You look well today, my lady” he said, really meaning it. But she was still silent. Not even blush on her face. He hoped she did not thought it a mockery. Cause it wasn’t. Not this time.

_Come, curse me or kiss me or call me a liar. Something._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This romantic tension in the air :o  
> Love for all JB shippers who read it all ^.^


	5. Sweet mockery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So time for little misunderstanding!  
> Right?  
> Or am I lying? XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! At the beginning - thanks again! For everything. I need your opinions, comments and kudos to know if you still want more ;)  
> Second matter. I am afraid that life overwhelmed me. I have little time so there can be some delay next time... I mean next chapter should apper next weekendd. But I am afraid bout chapter 7. We will see ;) 
> 
> I beg you for few words of commentary <3 !

_Brienne_

She slowly get her mind around what she should say. It did not work out as it should. That's why she had wanted to rent two rooms. She could not trust herself. She had let Jaime go to her bed and fell asleep on his thigh, more specifically on his crotch, which was very uncomfortable for her. It was nice but the awkward moment that came as soon as they woke up... She had to say something, he had to say something. They should talk seriously. Anyway, they had been supposed to do it at night. This time they could not get away from this conversation...

She opened her mouth, wanting to start this nasty subject when he moved and interrupted her with a kiss. This was the last thing she expected. But she did not intend to interrupt because in this way one of her timid dreams came true. So she relished in this new sensation, in his mouth and his quiet sigh. She closed her eyes and after a moment she felt a cold, golden hand on her cheek. A pleasant shiver passed her and Brienne clenched her hands on the sheets. She did not have the courage to embrace his face with her hands, to immerse them in his golden hair. Yet she did not quite believe in what was happening.

Then Jaime stepped away from her and before she opened her eyes, he was already on his feet. She stiffened in her position on the bed, still leaning forward with her mouth open. She blinked several times and touched her lips with her palms. She still felt his taste. She glanced uncertainly at the wonderful Lannister, who was already wearing boots, pinned the sword to his waist, and headed for the door.

"I will buy us something warm for breakfast," he said before he left. Then he disappeared behind the closed door and she still could not bounce back. She had one more thing to discuss with Jaime and it was a burden on her heart. _What had he thought that he stole my first kiss?_

She slowly dressed and carefully woke up Podrick. The boy slept during all that, what she was so ashamed of. At least she did not have to justify herself in front of him. She with her squire took all her luggage and left the room without unnecessary words. They found Jaime at one of the tables down in the dining area. He smiled sweetly at her and Brienne had to fight herself to not blush. _Goddamn idiot._

"Sit down," he urged. "Our food will soon be ready, and then we can move on."

"I a-am going to s-sew horses, ser. Milady...” Pod offered himself. Having received their permission, he disappeared from the inn. The boy wanted to be useful in every way. Besides, he could feel awkward in the company of the Young Lion. It probably was not about Jaime himself but about his relationship with Brienne. For Podrick it must have been really bizarre.           

They were alone. Their two and the table that separated them. Brienne struggled to focus her mind and eyes on anything in the inn. She carefully looked at each of the guests twice, although there were not many of them. In her misery.

"You are avoiding looking at me," Jaime said and when she turned to him, their eyes met. She tried to read anything from his face but she could not. He was a mystery. Half smiling, half irritated.

“Why did you do that? " she asked.  

“Why did I kiss you?” he made sure and shrugged. “To reward you those idiots from the past. Besides, I saw that you were getting ready to talk like " **what are we going to do about it**?" I definitely did not feel like it," he said. Then the girl appeared with their meal. She left three plates of warm food and turned around to Jaime, who thanked her for it. After all this, he started to eat. Brienne was still in shock and stared at him insistently.

“Did you do that because you did not want to talk?” she made sure.           

He nodded because his mouth was full. She was mad at him. He was no better than the ones she told him about. For him it was not intimacy, only a way out of difficult situations, foolish fun. _How to stop stupid Brienne from speaking?_

"It always works," Jaime said and it broked the camel's back.

“Have you just compared me to your sister?" she asked and then looked at him with uncertainty. For a moment he stopped chewing and apparently considered the meaning of his words. “Wonder how you managed to overcome disgust. Brienne the Beauty rather not come up to your golden twin sister” she snapped and without thinking left table, and then the inn. On the threshold she passed with Pod,  
who was returning for breakfast. She herself went to the stables. There she leaned against the box door of her horse and closed her eyes. _How could I be so stupid?_

The smell of hay and horse sweat filled her nostrils, the quiet rancidity of the animals slowly calmed her. She still wanted to break something, pull out the sword and stand up for a fight in which she would use her anger and bitterness. She felt betrayed, cheated. She opened her heart to the man she thought to be a friend and he just wowed her. He treated her like a girl who only dreamed of kissing a knight, which you can pat on the head and leave. _Damn egoist._

When Jaime and Podrick came for their horses, she was ready to leave. She went out in the snow and frost with her horse and mounted it without a word. Tightly wrapped up her coat she stuck her face to the sun and waited. As soon as her companions joined her, she set out. Brienne was not going to shred her tongue or to argue. She preferred to remain silent.

Young Lion apparently chose the same tactic because he did not speak to her. It seemed like he did not consider the apology necessary. It only made her more angry. Everything because of a stupid kiss, because of her carelessness and their unnecessary rapprochement. She would give a lot to turn back time and save herself the pain On the other hand his mouth had tasted so sweet...

She had to somehow take her mind off the subject. With the corner of her eye she looked at Jaime and began to wonder again what he was actually doing here, in the North. He left everything he knew because of the Queen's lie. Something definitely had to go wrong between them. Brienne knew rumors and more. She still remembered the night Lady Catlyn had led her to the muddy prisoner. She remembered their conversation, during which she had been silent. _I have been faithful to my sister all my life._ She knew all too well what he meant at that time. Only if it was true, and she could not deny it, Jaime's presence on the horse nearby was hard to explain. Perhaps the loss of children led him to change his views. All three of Cersei Lannister's descendants died. All of _his_ kids. _King Joffrey, Princess Myrcella, King Tommen._ Did any of them know who was their real father? All Seven Kingdoms knew the truth but whether they themselves?

They were heading to a meeting with the Queen Daenerys, Aerys descendant, the daughter of the Mad King. Jaime killed her father. He betrayed king, stabbed him in the back with shiny sword. Brienne knew that Jaime did the right thing but what about the rest of the world? What about the orphan of the Targaryen? Luckily, there was Lord Tyrion, the Queen’s Hand, the Kingslayer's brother. She could only hope the Dwarf could save the Young Lion. She did not want to send Jaime to death, even when he had mocked her and wounded her sincerely. He himself probably counted on Tyrion too. How else could he even think of this trip? She could not understand it. He risked so much. The people of the North wanted his death, the Queen's people probably too. Jaime Lannister was heading straight to the enemies and she was so mad at him that she could not question his decision aloud. Moreover, he was acting rightly. How could she scold him for that?

So she was silent most of the way. From time to time instructing her companions about which way they would go soon. Even the snow stopped pouring for some time, making this trip easier for them. With each step they approached the target but the tension between them remained palpable. And only Podrick tried to change it. The boy spoke from time to time, asking unreasonable questions and voicing his own supposition. He talked about dragons and White Walkers, the Unsuilted and Winterfell, about all-seeing Bran and the fencing skills of Arya Stark. Brienne listened to him attentively for a long time without interfering in his daring. However, when her squire descended completely on the subjects of the family to which Brienne had given her sword, she calmed down and relaxed.

"You're right, Pod," she finally said, looking over at the boy across her shoulder. “Arya is incredibly trained. She is younger than you and better fighter. Maybe you should train with her?”

“I prefer to p-practice with the milady. Stark girl s-scare me a little.”

“Are you scared of a little girl?” Jaime interjected, and the Maid of Tarth could not help looking at him. There was no sign of remorse at all. Confident, straight. Inadequately satisfied. So far from the life he knew, yet still with a smile on those sweet lips. They were really sweet. Brienne had never taste similar sweetnes. And just for the memory of the kiss her hand shook and she involuntarily rubbed her own lips.              

"She is e-extremely dangerous, ser," Podrick said with conviction, looking at Brienne for help. She was ready to give it to him. Even only to oppose the Lannister. To wipe off that stupid smile from his face.

"That's right," she admitted gravely and sent a hateful look to Jaime. “She's no longer a small, defenseless girl. Just like Lady Sansa...”            

"Exactly," Jaime said, and stopped his mount. His face was astonished, shocked. His eyes sparkled with some strange light, and his gaze fixed on Brienne. She felt as though he was peering into her soul and beyond. So she also stopped her horse, feeling naked in his eyes. More naked and more true than in tubs of Harenhall. “Both Stark girls are in Winterfell. Arya is alive, although I was sure that... Oh, I am stupid. Brienne! You did this. You really did this” he said cheerfully and sent her a sweet sad smile that she loved so much. "I'm proud of you," he added.  

She felt her throat dry, her legs trembled, and her chest was filled with strange heat at those words. She wanted to deny that it was her merit. After all, Arya had come home by herself, and Brienne had nothing to do with it. At that time, however, she met Pride's prideful look. She was trapped. Two men looked at her in a way she did not know yet. A similar look was given to her only by her father. He was only one to look at her ugly face and still love her. Aliens never did that. Friends neither. And yet.

"No," she whispered and urged the horse to move. She had to turn away from these two. Her gaze wandered about the hills and forests that surrounded them. She admired the village they passed along the way. She was still angry, yet happy.

In the late afternoon they stopped for a while in one of the villages. Fed and watered the horses. They also fed themselves. Brienne decided to practice with Podrick, who she neglected for last few days. She could not let the boy get lazy. His skills were still not great, and soon he was about to fight for life. Not only his own but all living in the Seven Kingdoms.       

Jaime looked at them from the side and she knew it well. She was aware of his watchful eyes as she made more cautious steps, as she issued further commands, as she again crushed her squire to the ground. The disapproval and admiration of the Young Lion was palpable. So she paused for a moment, allowing Podrick to rest and looked at their observer. In her mind she kept calling him the Young Lion, although he did not look young. Not even when she had seen him first time. He definitely counted his years but sometimes he still behaved exactly like the silly boys. Only occasionally she saw in him wisdom and experience gained over the years. As for the appearance... It all depended on his mood. At least she thought so. Fatigue and anxiety added him years  but smile and movement shave them off his age

“You will torture him to death and teach nothing” he said, after a few minutes of staring at each other. Brienne, however, was not going to pick up the quarrel or somehow respond to it. She gave him look sharp like a knife and then focused her attention on Podrick, who was already in the right position to fight her. Boy did not give up. “Come on, wench, show me what you can do. Beat the kid once again” Jaime added. But when she turned to him this time, ready to take up the fight, she saw only his back disappearing between the buildings.

This drove her crazy. But she was not about to pursue him. Clenching her teeth, she diverted all her attention to Pod. She threw away all her thoughts about asshole Jaime Lannister. He needed his time. Anyway, he was the one who had insisted on her company. That’s why she wasn’t worried about his return. Since she was not worried. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't that too quick? :o Cause I m fraid about this first kiss...  
> On the other hand I refrain myself for 5 chapters XD Slow burn!!!!
> 
> And I wan't lying! Misunderstandings are great things :" D 
> 
> With love for all JB shippers...


	6. Fear cuts deeper than swords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime is an asshole. Does he know it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for this one day delay. I just really had no time. Not even five minutes. Sorry.  
> But here you are! Chapter 6. Enjoy!  
> And thanks once more for every kind word <3 I need that!

  _Jaime_

There were not many people in the village. It seemed to be deserted, though it might have been due to the considerable amount of snow that had fallen recently. The inhabitants buried themselves in their homes, so the walking Jaime did not come across many people. And those who saw him lowered their heads and walked as far away from him as possible. Wrinkled golden eyebrows and grimace stiffened on his lips did not arouse sympathy and trust. Besides, accidental company was the last thing he needed at the time.

Brienne's silence and her gaze irritated him. As if he did something wrong. The girl could not even accept the compliment for filling the oath that they had made to Catelyn Stark long before she died. And what was the problem? This stupid kiss. Everything would have been easier if he did not kiss her. It would have been easier if he did not come so close to the stupid Maid of Tarth. She was just a naive child who might have gotten her hopes since his last behavior. Or she simply abused him and accused him of being unfaithful.

 _I am strong enough._ His own words echoed in his head. _I'm not interested_. Every little bit of interest seemed to be an insult to Brienne. Well, and he often joked about this. Stupid cow had to take it too seriously. He still remembered how she huddled in the Harenhall baths, when he entered the same bath where she was staying. She defended her virtue as if it were an unknown treasure. As if everyone wanted to take it away.  But she probably would surrender to Renly.

He stopped in mid-stride and kicked furiously snow drift. He could not understand why he was worried about it all. Brienne had the right to react in this way. She confessed to him how she had been mistaken. Men considered her as a joke of the gods, a challenge. not hiding his disgust still  
they wanted to take her virginity. Bloody Mumers also did not see the big trouble in her ugliness. Jaime should have understood how easy it was to hurt her with a word and a gesture. That kiss was not the problem. Just his explanation.

“I just did not want to listen to her” he assured himself and leaned back against the wall of one of the buildings. In fact, it was true. This morning, he really did not want to talk to her about how inadequate their intimacy was. he did not see anything wrong with it. After all, he did not hurt her. He simply needed the closeness of another person. In recent times, Cersei was only cold and suspicious, and even that unfortunate night when she had came to him for pleasure there was not passion. Or love. _No_. That's all he had said then. Then he was happy for a moment. Once again having a loved one in his arms, feeling the warmth of the other body. But that was not the way it should be. No heat, passion, emotion. _It was just a reminder that I have to be obedient to her_. It hurt him that he did not understood it until now. All it came down to his need of closeness.

He felt alone, nights were cold and full of nightmares, and Brienne was warm and gave him calm. Why should he explain it to her? They were friends, and he had the right to hug a friend. To kiss. At that moment a silent voice had whispered to him that it was a good idea. At that moment, it had been not just a longing for old, good times with Cersei. At that moment it had seemed appropriate and saved him from the conversation. And Brienne's beautiful lips were surprisingly interesting. That kiss should not excite him, warm up, make him happy, but that's what happened. That's why he had escaped from the room. Because he had knew he could lose control at any moment.

"Stupid cow," he whispered softly into the ether, furious at himself and her for the way their relationship looked. It was easier for them when they were enemies. It was not a problem for them even to lie close to each other. They were bound, thrown to the ground or seated on a horse, they had nothing to say. So they held the body next to the body, showing how much they hate each other. It was easier then. Jaime had understood his feelings. He longed for these times.

His eyes were drawn to a dark-haired girl who had slipped out of the building opposite. She looked horrified to the sides, covering her head with a hood and trotting toward him. She had to see him earlier through the window because evidently it was about his person. She stopped a few steps from him and tilted her pretty face to one side. She was young and beautiful. In such a simple, straightforward manner. She could not match with Cersei, but she was definitely ahead of the peasantry. Ruddy skin, shiny hair, big rosy lips and sweet upturned nose. She made another step towards Jaime.             

“Are not you cold, my lord? You stand in this cold, and I thought to give you some heat, too," she chirped and bent gently at him. Her delicate hands reached into his right hand, so that Jaime almost burst out laughing. Girl was not aware that the glove hid gold, insensitive to touch prosthesis. "And the food and the bed," she offered, and he had no doubt what the proposal was. He wondered if he was dealing with a whore or a stupid girl.

"I do not feel like it," he said simply and snatched the golden hand out of pretty girls embrace.  
She insisted for a while, less discreetly offering him all her body, but Jaime was firm. Finally, she lowered her head sadly and returned to the building, from which she had unnecessarily come out in the frost.

 _Not blond enough_? Now Bronn's wods came back to him like a boomerang. Sellsword stood in front of his eyes as alive. He laughed insolently, his hands on his hips. He seemed pleased with himself, and though Jaime knew that it was only his imagination, he could not stop himself from starting his conversation with this vision.

“Fuck off, Bronn” he muttered.

_I thought you wanted to leave in the arms of the woman you love. Meanwhile, you do not have the courage to fuck her._

The salesman's voice was ruthless, though he came from Jaime's own thoughts. Jaime did not like the direction in which it all went.

"I do not love her," he said firmly to the whole world.

_But you knew at once that it was not about a girl from moment before or your golden sister._

"Brienne," he whispered, with some strange embarrassment and his heart clenched. " is a stupid cow.”

 _Stupid cow you crave_. This time it was his own thoughts. Bronn disappeared as if melting in the wind. Jaime cursed and without much ado, he turned to the place he came from. He had to go back to this stubborn, ugly girl to explain everything to her. This conversation had to take place. He did not have to love her right now, but this strange desire... This predilection to the ugliest creature in the world... With the most beautiful eyes. It was something strange and incomprehensible, which burned in him a fire that he did not know, so he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. Even meeting his whim.

When he finally reached the place where he left the girl and Podrick, he was beaten with cold sweat. The boy was not anywhere near, and the knight woman was lying flat on the ground, her cheek was bloody, and she seemed barely conscious. Jaime threw himself on his knees without hesitation, taking her head in his hand. Blue eyes searched his face, and huge mouths settled into a sad smile.

"Even if it's only a dream," Brienne whispered. “That's how I can go.”

These words frightened him. 

"No," he exclaimed indignantly, holding her face to his chest. Her cheek was adorned with a nasty wound, something like a bite. He had never seen anything like this before. “You must not die, you selfish wench. You must not.”

“Ser Jaime” she murmured, her eyes closed. She lost consciousness. 

It was then that he got to know how much he needed her. She was his guide, the support, the only creature that really seemed to understand him. She knew so much about him, and yet she was not even a family. Why did he open so much? Why did he trust her? He did not know. Brienne was arousing strange emotions in him, which irritated and annoyed him, but made him better. Because of her he performed some heroic deeds. As back then in a bear pit. Or now. This whole escaping from capitan and this expedition to the North... Had the Maid of Tarth not told him to fuck loyalty, then everything would have been different.

"Do not leave me, Brienne," he shouted through his clenched teeth, tears streaming down his eyes. And he had three words on his lips, which he did not want to say. Could not. Even in thoughts.  
Then Podrick came and someone else with him. Probably a village healer or someone like that. Jaime could not be sure. He knew only that they took her from his arms and carried to a building while he was still kneeling in the mud with a heart choked with fear. He had to make himself stand up and then find the place where Brienne was. His Brienne. And he did.

She was lying lifeless on the table. An enormous woman in armor with a hole in her cheek. At this point, he forgot about his mission and his duty to warn the North. Would this mission still matter if she had died? At whose side would he fight in the coming war? Tyrion would be the only one in his world. Tyrion, who stood high in the Dragon Queen hierarchy. And he? He was none, enemy, Kingslayer, and a man without honor. Maybe they would kindly let him stand in line with the wildlings. Alone. “Say that she will recover” he begged in a whisper, not looking at anyone in particular. He could not take his eyes off her closed eyes, from the chest that floated and fell slowly. The only hope.

"Let's hope," someone answered, and that was enough. Hope. So he sat on his side, waiting for the healer to do his work. Then he waited as they carried her on the bed and waited when everything was in the hands of the gods. He waited when Podrick with the help of a man freed her from armor. He waited when they all went to eat. He waited. And he waited.

Dusk fell. Podrick fell asleep in the corner of the room where they were staying. The healer came to them from time to time. He even apologized for not being a maester but Jaime did not care. He was grateful to this small man for all his efforts. Jaime even exchanged words with him as he was still trembling with fear but no with the overwhelming one. Brienne was still breathing, she was alive. And that was the most important thing.  

"The wound will be with her forever," the healer mumbled, standing at the door. His gray eyes looked at Jaime with concern.

"The land will be alive," he replied.

“Yes, she will live. But your wife does not have a nice face anymore” the stranger came out with these words.

"She's not my..." Jaime began, but the healer was gone. "And she never had a pretty face," he added, as if offended.

Then he sat down on the chair next to the bed, wondering what exactly had happened and grabbed the sleeping Brienne by the hand. As hypnotized he stroked her in his and his thoughts scattered in unknown directions. There was no world outside of this small room, except for two intertwined hands and he was hard with that thought.

"What did you do to me, wench?" He asked, kissing her fingers tenderly.   

The morning did not bring any change. This time, however, Podrick did not let him go and took him to breakfast. _You h-have to eat something, ser_. He had to. So he reluctantly left unconscious Brienne and followed boy.He wanted to ask him about the tragedy of the previous day.

There was an inn in the vicinity of the healer's hut where Pod had found help the previous day and where he later had dinner. They took one of the free tables and then waited in silence for the food. Jaime wanted to return to sleeping woman as soon as possible, to be right next to her if she woke up. Moreover, he did not know how to start a conversation with Podrick. He was about to say something when a man approached them. He had a plain face with brown hair, hazel eyes and a scar near his left ear. He smiled gently at them as to old friends, and above that he sat down at their table.    

“How is our lady today, Podrick?” he asked and Jaime shivered. He did not like it very much. All this situation. Who was that man and what did he know about Brienne?

"She is s-still asleep, ser H-Hyle," said boy sitting beside him. Moments later, they were served. "Ser J-Jaime, this is Hyle Hunt," Podrick introduced him to the stranger knight. "He h-helped me find the h-healer yesterday and t-transfer lady Brienne.”

He was able to just nod to the sign of understanding.

"I have known Brienne for a long time," said Hyle Hunt, and Jaime wanted to punch him in his nose. "I served with her for king Renly. I mean, I served for lord Tarly, who served for king Renly, but it is the same,"he said.    

All of Jaimego's muscles tightened to the memory of this camp where his wench had so many misfortunes. Maybe she did not directly mention the man sitting in front of him, but the fact of their acquaintance immediately awakened Jaime's alertness. The possibility that this idiot was one of the tormentors of the Maid of Tarth was too big.

"So you have lost a lord recently," he said while eating. "I'm so sorry," he added without a trace of regret.           

„It is true.”

“Well. Now you have become a stray dog," Jaime said with a shrug of his shoulders and stood up from the table. “I'm full. And now excuse me gentlemen, but I'm going to see how it is with lady Brienne.” And with these words he left without looking back. He was sure that after another moment inside the inn he would hit Hyle Hunt and without explicit reason. The thought behind his head that Hyle could be one of those idiots was enough...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep calm Jaime :v  
> Or maybe better not? XD


	7. Hands on neck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne and her wound. And three stupid guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I ust really have no time :< And I am afraid next chapters won't appear at time :/  
> Thanks again for all comments and kudos! I need this <3 You are my strenght dearies ;)  
> So go on! Read and comment!  
> With love <3

_Brienne_

It was hot. And cold. Shooting pain in her body. Her face. Her face. Someone cut her, bite her into pieces. Starting from the cheek. All thoughts ran away from her head and there was only pain. Is that how death looks like?

Then darkness come once more.

When she finally woke up, she was alone in a strange room. Her cheek burned with live fire. So it was not a dream, no nightmare. Only life. Real and brutal. It did not spare her even now. Mechanically her hand touched the wound and she frightened, not encountering the skin with her fingers. At least not in a place where it was previously.

She rosed trembling, terrified. Legs were bending under her and walking hurt her. In her memoirs the fight came back. They had surprised her. Bloody Mummers. She has long been convinced that their group had fallen apart. And yet not. Anyway, the group itself may had had collapsed but its single members were still buried in the world. Just like Biter. Ironically. Brienne had not thought that she should interpreted his name so seriously.

She had been practicing with Podrick when they came. They had driven into the village and stopped near her and the squire. They probably had recognized her. Few women of her height and appearance hang around Westeros. And that had been enough for them. They had approached, started to mock, provoke. At least she had managed to send away Pod. Then the massacre had began. There had been several of them against her but still she had managed to defend for long time. She had a Valyrian steel sword and huge skills compared to a band of scoundrels. Strength, agility, knowledge of the movements. It all had given her time. Unfortunately not victory. They had snatched the sword from her hands, dropped it on the ground, and then... She still remembered the stench coming from Biter's mouth, his sharp teeth, insanity in his eyes. And the bite itself. Her scream had echoed around the area.

Brave Companions had fled, leaving her to die. Then Podrick had returned, crying over her head, and she had to calm him down. Powerless, tired, sore, bleeding. She had managed to give the boy a command. And then he had disappeared in search of help. Brienne had been sure at that moment that she would die. Alone in the mud of a strange country, away from home, from the people whom she swore her sword to. Away from the beautiful Jaime Lannister, with whom she had quarreled. Away from his sweet, sweet lips. 

That was when she had seen him. Frightened green eyes, a hand that had slipped beneath her head. His voice had been shaking. It had had to be a dream. It had had to. Apparition produced by her brain as a consolation. But it had been way Brienne could die. Hoping he had never wanted her hurt.

That is what she remembered. No less, no more. Exactly so. And she still could not judge whether Jaime really came back to her. This seemed at least unlikely. Anyway, meditating on it would not give her much. So she sighed softly, leaning against the table that stood in the center of the room. She tried to calm her knocking heart, muscles refusing obedience and this overwhelming fatigue.

In the corner of the room was an old, stained mirror. Her silhouette reflected in it dimly. Brienne approached the glass and looked at her reflection. Especially at the ruined face. For this view her eyes welled with tears. She never considered herself a beauty, but it was... Why did it have to happen to her? Was she not ugly enough? This disgusting scar weakened her faith in herself. In fact, Brienne was already accustomed to mocking her, ridiculing her appearance. However, this new acquisition it could cause new trouble. And in larger quantities. And the first one who will do it will probably be Jaime. Intentionally or not. He will not leave it without comment.

Then the door opened. It creaked unpleasantly, attracting her attention. The daylight came from the outside and he stood in it. Of course he did. He came... Actually what for?

“Brienne? For the Seven, why did you get up?!” he exclaimed, running to her as she nearly rolled over. With extraordinary courtesy he led her to bed. He sat her down there and he himself crouched in front of the bed. His touch was delicate, full of compassion, and the Maid of Tarh could not understand it.

"Do not look at me like that," she said. Only then she realized how hoarse and weak her voice was. She was weak. But she could not show it to him. She had to be strong. But she could not force herself to do that.                   

"Brienne stop it," Jaime ordered and their eyes met.

“Do not you dare to pity me.”

"Will you always say that when I will be sorry for your sorrow? Do you want to kill the remnants of empathy in me?” he asked with a half smile on his face. His voice was relieved, though she did not understand why. “Lie down” he commanded, and she obeyed.

She curled up on her bed, covered herself with a warm blanket and stared at the ground. Her eyes still beaded with tears, which finally flowed down her cheeks. The healthy and the massaged one. But before it could soak into the sheets, the only hand of the Young Lion wiped them gingerly. Brienne automatically tensed. Her hand caught Lannister's wrist.        

"No," she whispered, but it was too late, for he had already clung to her with his brazen lips. It was so sweet, even sweeter than she remembered. She could not resist his lips, she did not have enough strength in her. So her grip loosened and Jaime's liberated hand went to her neck. This touch caused a shiver on her back.

Her own hands miraculously landed on his hard, strong neck. But as soon as she realized, she took them in fear and with wide eyes she pushed him away. For a moment they looked at each other intently and on her lips were the insults that she could not speak out loudly.  

“How dare you...?” she snapped, and then the door opened again. Jaime stood up in the blink of an eye and she pulled a blanket under her neck. She felt her blush swell. Although it should not. She should be angry. Only and exclusively. But he was so tender... “Podrick?” she asked, looking up at the entrance. But her squire was not alone.

At first she did not recognize the darkhaired man. But she noticed how Jaime reacted to his presence. The Young Lion clenched his fist, frowned and his face was like thunder as the mysterious guy approached her and Pod. She was a bit overwhelmed by this but she did not dare to move. She still felt weak and Jaime also messed up in her head.     

“M-Milady!” Podric exclaimed, falling to his knees beside her bed.

"Come on, boy. You will scare her.”

"You are speaking to a highborn lady, ser Hyle. Call her by her name." interrupted Jaime, and Brienne freezed. Several facts hit her at once and shocked her. Too much happened and too fast.

"I want to stay alone," she said, covering her damaged cheek with a big hand. Three men looked at her. For a moment they were standing still but Jaime quickly organized them all and forced them to leave the room. Her request was fulfilled, so she could breathe a sigh of relief.          

Her thoughts flooded questions and doubts. There was also resentment to Ser Hyle Hunt. Yes. Now she knew who was the owner of the brown hair that appeared after Podrick. One of her admirers from the time of Renly's camp. One she used to like. But then the truth came out and the only feeling that now she felt for him was contempt. Maybe even hatred. But why was Jamie so mad about his presence? And what for the sake of the Seven did Hyle do there at all?      

She rubbed her tired eyes and rolled over to the other side. Unconsciously she stared at the wall, dreaming of a dream. But it did not come, and the same thoughts haunted her again. And only the memories of sweet kisses calm them down a bit. Her breathing speeded up, her heart was beating wildly, her whole body was hot. She was ashamed of the feeling that had taken her at the thought of Jaime.    

Once again she was disturbed at lunch time. Podrick knocked on the door, and when she let him in, he brought a meal prepared for her. It was then that Brienne realized that they had wasted too much time sitting in one place. She wanted to resist, saddle the horse, move on. The boy probably would not be able to knock it out of her mind. So panicked he called for help. And who could he call if not accompanying them Lannister?

"Are you crazy, wench? You are not able to get on a horse and ride it!”

“Do not tell me what I am allowed to do and what not.”

"I guess I have to, if you're going to kill yourself!"   

Podrick could not stand the tension and disappeared from the field of destruction. Again she was alone with Jaime. It did not fit her well, so after a while her hands began to tremble. But it did not escape Young Lion's notice. His brows frowned questioningly, and he was about to say something, but she cut him off.

“What do you care? You should focus on your goal.”

“What do I care? He repeated, shortening the distance between them. Are you kidding? Since I have already pulled you out of the bear pit, exposing my own life, it would be pure idiocy to let you die by falingl from your horse. All my heroism would go fuck itself.”

Silence fell.    

"Brienne," he began again, calmer. “I care about you, stupid cow” he said.

"No," she said sharply. “I will not be fooled anymore, ser.”

“Damn, woman. What else should I do? Admit that I am an idiot?! Here you are. I am.”

In answer to that statement, she only looked at him. All this talk was very difficult for her. And definitely took place belatedly. Maybe it would change something if they had this talk earlier. Now it did not mattered. He had harmed her. She adored him, wanted him, respected him, believed in him. But he had hurt her.

"Ser..." she whispered coldly.

"Ser..." he repeated sadly, shaking his head.

"Ser..." Podrick said, pushing his head into the room and checking to see if their quarrel had subsided. They both looked toward him, moving away from each other for a few steps. The squire, seeing that shouting is over, came to them. "The healer says you need at least another day of rest, milady. And you must eat a lot. And then look out for yourself.

She nodded briefly.   

“So decided. One more day. Then we leave” she decided. Jaime was not happy with her decision. But that did not matter.

“Yes, m-milady. And o-one more thing. S-Ser Hyle wants to t-travel with us.”

She didn not noticed but felt Lannister's eyes piercing her insistently. And she felt completely confused. She opened her mouth wide, but she did not say a word.

“He a-also wants to talk to y-you in p-private.”

"No way," Jaime snapped.

"Agree," Brienne agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... They are just stupid, aren't they?  
> Duh. But I still love them so much <3 Our sweeties!


End file.
